Monday, March 22, 2010

Ain't nuthin 'new' about it.

I wasn't raised to be independent- but it turned out that way. Actually my Mother(bless her little heart) was little more than a spoiled child herself when I came along. She was eighteen and not actually equipped to be a mother. But her generation felt that it was fine to marry out of high school, have a couple of kids and take care of a husband. After all- they taught you how to do that in high school with Home Ec. didn't they?
So as the world revolved, a couple of things were taking place- Civil rights, The Summer of Love,Ecology, The Black Panther movement, and the New Women's Movement.
It was called the NEW Women's movement to differentiate from the Women's Sufferage Movement.

We 'WOMEN' of the 60's and 70's could vote and did. We ( and I use that term in the broadest way possible) wanted the same rights as men- more working hours, equal pay for equal work,promotion in the workplace on the same basis as men. We didn't want men opening our doors, paying our bills, protecting us, or objectifying our bodies! No way!
WE could do it ALL! We could work all day in the boardroom, come home to fix a gourmet dinner from scraps, and then be a sexual dynamo in bed all night, with us on top.
We would only have children if it pleased us, and if we could find adequate day care- cuz we didn't want to give up our careers to stay at home to raise kids! How old fashioned!

Can you all see the web we built for ourselves?
A lot of us didn't.
I didn't.

I wanted equal pay for equal work- and I got it. I was one of the first women UPS hired to deliver packages and it was rough. But I was independent,boy!
My children went to day care, and that was rough too, for them and for me. But I was making my own money. Other women, unenlightened women, were raising my kids.
But I was equal.
I still had to make those fine dining experiences with scraps...
I still had to clean my own house...
And sex...
well ....something had to suffer!

Then I got hurt at work, and in the process I got smart.
I stayed home with my kids....what a concept! And I liked it.
I made dinner, it might have been hamburger, but we all ate together.
My house... well... something had to suffer....

But FINALLY I realized that even though I could have it all- I didn't want it! The price was , and is too high! And the end result for our women turned out to be a reversal it seems . Now there are vapid airheads out there that our young girls are emulating. Jess and Pamela and Aquila and Hanna and so many more. Women that are just looks and no substance.
The pendulum has swung, and it's on the way back- but when will it stop, and how will the women of this century be remembered?
If it is like Jess and the other- I fear for the world at large! I worry about the men that want that for themselves and their futures children's mothers!

Maybe there should be a men's movement!


gtyyup said...

Good food for thought. Living where we do, and my lack of social contact...and not having any children, I'm so out of touch with other parts of the country. Thanks for posting~

Mrs Mom said...

Are there enough Real Men-- REAL MEN -- left to have a Men's Movement?

I like staying home, raising my kids. Teaching them, being a Mom, keeping house, having food fixed for my Dear Husband... call me simple if you wish, but at least my kids know how to behave ;)

Sometimes, simple is GOOD.

Vaquerogirl said...

NOt many real men left fer sure! I have one and I'll bet you do to Mrs Mom!

Lil Mama said...

Damn womens libers messed it up for me. I would be very happy to stay home, cook clean and take care of the kid and not pay one single bill. Oh wait thats pretty close to what I have now. Huh.

Maia said...

As always wonderfully stated. How did we get here, at a place I call the ation nation? We have the objectivication of women, the trivilization of men and the denigration of the family. I don't think we can lay this whole mess at the feet of women's lib, some, yes, but all of it, no.

Women's lib didn't create parents opting out. I'm not a parent, but I do observe them. Maybe at the end of the day, everyone is just too tired, so it's easier to put up with Junior's potty mouth and Sally's brat attacks than deal with them. Why can't a teacher tell a student who's acting out big time that their behavior is unacceptable with being terrified the parent will rush in and have them fired.

Why do kids, get every status toy, no matter what the cost, no matter how much or how little the family has, until their sence of entitlement and unreal expectations chart a course for disaster?

Why do we dress ten year old girls like pole dancers and then wonder why they idolize the real thing.

And I guess most importantly when did parents lose the ability to say no, and discipline their children. What has happened here, folks?

Breathe said...

I like working outside the home, because I get to do something I believe in as well. With a flexible work schedule I get to be home a good deal.

I'm a lousy housekeeper and a microwave cook, but love to raise my girls and am fortunate to be able to be with them so much more than many working moms. I have a wonderful support system with my own mother, my husband and friends who help me when I need it.

I think what we were fighting for was choice. Many women were abandoned or left widowed (by "real men? Ha!) and had no way to support their families. They ended up in terrible poverty.

I respect every woman who chooses to be home AND those who work. I appreciate the choice afforded to me by women who fought to make sure I had it.

And I work hard to ensure my daughters have wonderful women to look up to - by limiting television, magazines and increasing access to information about amazing women - everyone from my grandmother (a small business owner and homemaker) to a woman supreme court justice to the woman who shoes our horses with compassion and expertise.

And I remind our girls - it is NEVER about the money. It's about feeling that you are making a difference. Whether for one or for many.

(stepping off of soap box now. How did I get up there?)

BrownEyed Cowgirls said...

Awesome rant.

I'm pretty sure my mom would have preferred not to HAVE had to work to support 3 kids. But she did, bought a house and kept horses for us. We were dirt poor and I hated it, but it darn sure taught me I had to work for the things I wanted. I think so many kids are missing out on that these days.

I always thought the buying the house thing was interesting 1971 a woman could not take out a loan at a bank without someone to co-sign for her. My worthless father could however go to the bank, borrow money for 'horse tradin' and they gave it to him.

Thank goodness things have improved for us women...but I sure have gotten my undies in a bunch more than once when I had to go to work to pay the bills, pick the kid up from the daycare, come home-do chores, clean house, cook supper, help the kid with homework, get her bathed and tucked into bed...and then have to hear about how tough a day the hubby had(not the current one) while he laid on the couch, where he had promptly plopped after walking in the door.

Hmmm...Ex for a reason? You BET! I figured if I had to do it all...the last thing I needed was his 'help'-LOL.

And Yayyy! for REAL men!

Maia said...

Wow, you guys, er I mean girls, are truely amazing. I hope your kids, horses and real men, appreciate how awesome you are, I know I sure do.

PS: I have one of the few and I do mean few real men on the east coast.

Rising Rainbow said...

Having been one of those women trying to get into a career dominated by men, I can understand what the women's movement was about. I wanted to be a doctor but men didn't really want me there and did plenty to make sure it was difficult for me. Needing funding to go to school made the journey next to impossible so it is the one thing in my life I wanted and wanted badly that I couldn't figure out how to break through.

Because of the women's movement that won't happen to women today and I'm relieved that women with the brains and ideas to be successful doctors are getting the chance.

With that said, I do see that like anything "new" the women's movement swung way further than was really good for anyone. Hopefully it will self correct but that's probably going to take a lot of time. In the meantime there are lots of people paying for the over zealous crap that came with the pendulum swinging too far.

And there is still a glass ceiling so even those women who do chose to work have to contend with pay less than a man's even though they might do it better.

Human nature being what it is, I doubt that life will ever be fair. We will always have issues that need fixing and those in denial about them so we'll always have plenty to talk about the "way it should be." And hopefully we'll have those who do more than just talk so we'll evolve into better than we are.

Robynn's Ravings said...

RIGHT ON! And I love your "something had to give(s)!!!!" ROFL.