Monday, December 14, 2009

DANGER is my middle name!

Today there was a break in the rainy weather, so after coming in from feeding the horses, I rounded up OD and said- " Let's put up the Christmas lights".
Simple enough.
One string of lights across the front of the house... how long could it take?
She agrees, puts on her shoes and grabs the puppy.
Time:10 minutes
I climb the ladder and wait for Amy
Puppy can't be tied up so she brings out the playpen.
Time: 10 minutes
I'm still on the ladder waiting for Amy
Puppy doesn't like pen, but we stick her in it any way and begin to set up the ladder.
Puppy makes such weird gremlin noises we take her back into the house.
I climb down the ladder and wait for Amy.
She finally comes back out.
"Which lights?" I ask, "mini's, small ones or the retro big ones."
She chooses the big retro bulbs.
No matter how many times I untangle the big orange electric cord, and roll it up, it still is a big mess of wire when we need it.
Time spent un-tangling the cord-15 minutes
Pull out the box of lights, and plug them in. They seem to work.
Begin stapling the lights, but like the cord , it is a mess of tangled green wire. Could this be why I haven't put up these lights in five years?
Time spent unthreading lights-20 minutes.
Amy climbs the ladder, screams when a spider drops from the eves.
Time to get her back up on the ladder- 15 minutes.
There is one place where my garden slopes steeply.
"Just lean the ladder against the house" I say. Amy tries, but the ladder sways to the left, it doesn't reach.
Time trying to figure out the logistics of the short ladder to steep land ratio - 10 minutes
Amy finally leans the ladder left, climbs the right side of the structure, holding the lights in one hand,stapler in the other.
"Don't worry-danger is my middle name!" she says.
Time spent laughing our asses off- 20 minutes.
Finally the lights are strung, but half the lights don't work. We spend the next twenty changing out bulbs.
Total time spent hanging one string of lights across front of house- too long!
Time spent making another Christmas memory....just long enough!