If you know Vaquerogirl at all, you know that I value my friendships. I love all of my friends, and will do almost anything for any one of them.
I do have a tendency to speak my mind, although I do try to do it kindly. Sometimes my silences are louder than words could be- but for the most part I try not to irk my friends.
I let bygones be bygones.
I honestly know that everyone in the world is busier than I am most of the time, and I try not to have my feelings hurt by long bouts of in-communication.( I think I made that word up just now- but it fits so lets go with it).
I have several friends that I can go for months without talking to, and I don't feel offended at all~ we chatter happily away when we finally meet.
So why do I feel like someone pulled a tooth without novacaine because one of my best friends has suddenly cut me out of her life?
We didn't have an argument.
We didn't have a fight.
She didn't say- "Hey never speak to me again!" And slam any doors.
But I did disagree with her on FB (privatly not pubicly) about some political thing. But that is usual for us- she's a Dem, I'm a 'Publican'. During Presidential election years we have been known to shout at each other to the point of someone fearing for their lives and nearly calling the cops. She has NEVER held a grudge before.
I can only rack it up to the other friends she is keeping. They are more sucessful in her chosen career than I am. They have the same Dem beliefs.
But I can't help but feel hurt. I'm sure it's not 'personal', although how personal is your best friend?
I am trying to 'MOM' myself- telling myself that it's her- not me. That she's not a good friend if she won't even tell you what is wrong, that I'm better off without a friend like that...blah blah blah. No wonder my kids never listened to me!
I've plenty of friends to watch my back. They are more like me than she is- horse people, ranchers, and what not. But I will miss that part of her that is a small part of me too. That was the role she played and the hole there can't be filled.
I miss her.
10 months ago