But it has been a process of growing and re-evaluation and self evaluation and introspection. It has taken all of a lifetime to finally be in the place I am today.
I enjoy a good drama- from time to time. I write drama and I watch it on TV. But after Living in Drama for a large portion of my life I finally just said "STOP!" I dropped the people in my life that wanted to draw blood, live my life, suck me dry. It wasn't easy- oh no! Those same people- the ones living in the ' I can't help it' groove- kept trying to weasel their way back in to my life.
Recently I had one try to weasel back in again. An old high school flame- albeit one that I was crazy about - when I was sixteen and didn't know JACK!
He called to say 'hello', he wanted to know how I was, if I remembered him ( how could I forget the guy that broke up with me in code, in my High School yearbook pages!)If we could meet for coffee...yadayadayada!
Hmm... let me think a minute-no! Nice to hear from you-goodbye.
Was I sorry? Nah.
I believe that (here's where I go all California on yer asses) bad Karma begets bad Karma, and good Karma draws good Karma to you. If you are bright enough or lucky enough or aware enough to stop repeating the cycle of bad, weird, hurtful, angry things, you can get up out of that same rut and begin to shine.
I don't have time for people that lie.
Or people with the faces of angels that have the hearts of devils.
I try to live each moment of my life like it might be the last.
I stop to thank people for the everyday things they do, for me or for others.
I try like hell to say something positive to everyone I meet.
I stop to smell the roses.
I lend a hand.
And it comes back to me ten-fold!
I do have a group of wonderful, giving, happy people surrounding me daily.