Saturday, November 29, 2008

..The answer is " a pony".

Around here any time I ask my daughter, Lil Mama, a question, her answer has usually been," A pony." Since she saw Mikeys petrefied frog now her answer to any question is " A petrified frog."

Me~ "Guess what I had for lunch?"

Lil Mama~ " A petrified frog?"

Me~ "Are you going to the store?"

Lil Mama~ "yes, to get a petrified frog."

Me~ " Where are your boots?"

Lil Mama~"Next to the petrified frog."


Friday, November 28, 2008

I never have really traditional Thanksgiving dinners. Although I have family around, they never seldom come to my house to eat. I usually have a collection of 'onlys' that come to feast and I like it that way. The last few years my dear friend, Rich, has come to dinner. Rich is a big game hunter, and he always brings something to 'share' with me.

One year it was a 20 foot stuffed Crocadile that he killed in Africa. He only brought it in as far as my front door- cuz Crocks give me the creeps!

Last year it was a babboon head, and this year it was this elephants foot.

This is the OD-standing with both of her feet inside the Elephant foot.

Let me tell you all that I am NOT a hunter, I AM a shooter. But I do understand that these animals are culled and it is better for the health of the herds to do so. I also know that not one ounce of this animal went to waste. The natives cannot own guns or use them to kill food, so when a hunter takes a beast there is a kind of relay system that goes out through the nearby villages. The head men of the village come and take as much meat as they can carry back to their families. They take every scrap and bone. The hunter gets the feet and the tail( if they want it) and the hide.
It makes me appreciate our good old fashioned farm raised tom turkeys!

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

What Are You Thankful For?

It is the time to wax poetic, sigh deeply and remember all the wonderful things in our lives- a time to heap blessings upon those you love and hope they heap blessings on you too. A time to count your blessings instead of sheep. I, like everyone else, have many many things to be thankful for. I won't bore you with the more mundane of those- you already know them by heart and probably have whispered them to your loved ones already. So here are the lesser known things that I am thankful for.

I'm thankful that I have the age, ability and pocketbook not to ride those horses that are 'turkeys'. I've ridden all the broncs, orangutans and wild beasties to last me another lifetime.

I'm thankful that though I am not a petite woman, I haven't been able to eat myself into oblivion and my butt is still not as big as the Macy's Day Parade Balloon!
I am thankful that my children have survived into adulthood and that I did not actually turn them into stuffing for any of my previous Thanksgiving Turkeys!(Although there were a few Thanksgivings that I might have liked to try!)

I am thankful that any Pilgrim in my house is of the John Wayne variety and not the kind that wore gold buckles on their shoes or that crazy looking white collar.

I'm thankful that whipped creme and punkin pie don't actually have ANY calories! (uh-huh! My Granny told me so!)

So Happy Thanksgiving Dear Friends all over the World! I hope your horses are happy, your kids well fed, and your lives at full tilt!

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Quarters vs Arabians

First off let me start out saying that there is no one perfect horse! Oh, I can just hear you all huffing! Really, all horses are beautiful and special and wonderful- they all have lots in common- they all have brains the size of a small fist, they all have smelly poop we have to clean up and have not as yet learned how to turn into gold, they all have personalities that can change literally with the wind.

But someone recently asked me why I switched from Arabs to Quarters. This is my answer- it pertains only to me and is my opinion (and darn it I'm entitled to it! )

I grew up riding American Quarter Horses, that is what we had for ranch work. I rode Shetland ponies, donkeys, Morgans, Appaloosas, POA"s, Tennessee Walking horses, Standardbreds, Thoroughbreds and quite a few crosses in between. I rode them for fun and I rode them for a living. I rode my own and I rode every one elses too. They all taught me something, and I enjoyed ( almost) every one of them.

I actually bred and trained Arabian horses for a while too. Let me tell you, I love Arabian horses for all the same reasons that you all love them. They are spectacular to look at, they can go forever and they are super smart. They are fairly versatile too, but even though there are Arabs that do reining and cowwork, they are not 'bred to it" and don't have the same sparkle and snap that a QH has. I love the cow work, and wanted a horse that would love it too.

Another reason why I switched back to QH's were the people involved in breeding Arab's at the time. There were a lot of bad practices going on in the show world, and in the training that I couldn't hold to- and if I wanted to be competative I would have had to deal with those people. Life is too short to deal with Asshats, so I moved back to the QH. Oh, there are plenty Asshats in the QH world too, but I know enough about the breed and the training not to have to deal with them if I so wish. And I have met a whole lot of friendly wonderful QH owners and breeders... the Arabian breeders I met ( save a rare few) were only in it for the money and had no love for the breed.(This was in the 70's and becuse of this a whole lot of Arab breeders bred too many poor quality horses, then the Arab market crashed and those some people dumped their high doller horses, but not before breeding a crop of 'weeds'.

The third and final reason that I no longer own Arabs is their Personal Safety Response( the side ways whirl and bolt spook)-so many of them are in full flight mode all of the time, and as I get older I just hate hitting the ground! I mean I am a good rider,BUT there ain't a cowgirl that can't get throwed. My QH Dez throws me too, (he is as close to an Arab that you can get and still be regestered QH)- because of the same Personal Safety Response- but he only spooks at something once... then he files it away in his ' Oh THAT won't eat me after all!' file, and on we go. So his flight response is whittling away to practically nothing and will continue to decrease as he gets older. So many highly bred Arabs never lose it. It made training difficult and frustrating, as I spent more time reassuring them than actually going forward in our training programs.

Now I know there are many many Arabs out there that are as quiet and calm as the day is long. They are bred wonderfully and have given many families a safe and solid mount- but for me- the Quarter Horse was a much better choice for my daily mount.

And as I get older and more infirm, maybe I'll change my mind and take up driving minis!

To all of you- what ever you choose to ride, choose the best!

Friday, November 14, 2008

TRAINWRECK! (not the Woman- the feeling)

Man, this has been one heck of a week for me. As you all know I don't have a regular job any longer. I have been freelancing for the last three months, and it's been working out pretty well. I agreed to work as a stall cleaner this week, thinking " No brainer! Easy money!" Phfffttt!
What I was recalling was the time I ran a full care boarding facility . I kept approx 15 horses, cleaned nine stalls, and 4 paddocks. Broke and trained and rode three or four horses, gave lessons and raised my two little girls. (HINT: The operative word in the last paragraph is LITTLE). My girls are BIG now- that golden time in my life was about Ten years ago. And Now I am TEN years OLDER! I hate to admit it, but hunnys'- I am finally feeling my age!
Oh Yeah- you heard it- I said it- AGE.
I got through the week- cleaning eight stalls,and doing various other physical things... and tonight I am sooooooooo glad it's friday! I feel like a trainwreck! ( Not that I feel like you TW- but I feel like a train has wrecked me!)
Man oh man what a differance a few measly years (and a few measly pounds) can make in a girl! Whew!
I should be glad that I was working so hard ( I am) so I don't have to sign up for the GYM ( I'm not), but all I can think about tonight is a large full glass of Vodka and OJ. Hear it? It's calling my name...
"YooHoo! Fat Girl! Ease on over here..."
I'm gone!

Monday, November 10, 2008


Karen is married to what my friend Meg describes as a "City Kitty". Now there is nothing wrong with that- my very Own Best Husband thinks that 'outside' is where the car is parked. So when we were shopping via catalog- Cabela's to be exact-and he called- we just couldn't help but laugh at the following conversation. ..
Him~ What are you doing?
Her~ Shopping for a jacket in Cabela's catalog. I want one that is Camo. 
Her~ No, Camo!
Him~ Camo? Like... Flaw-jj?
Her~ sigh***

So the jacket here isn't Camo-flawjj, but it's nice and warm and PINK! Guess where I found it? 
Yep- My favorite store- Tractor Supply!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Four Little Words....

When I am telling a story there are four little words that usually precede the very best or funniest or outrageous of the stories. They are "Well, Alcohol was involved..."
Girlfriends-I want you to remember those words during the next blog or two.
I spent the weekend at The Big D's Fabuloso Ranch with Girlfriend Karen in tow. We spent two days doing some of the funnest things a girl can do, like shopping (by catalog and in person)riding, drinking and gossiping. ( I'll let you all figure out which of the other fun stuff we didn't do) !
And athought I am under threat of DEATH by torture, I'll let you in on a little secret- we did virtual makeovers on the computer! I am not allowed to show you the pictures of the makeovers- but they were hysterical! We logged onto the Mary Kay website and downloaded our photos, and then added makeup and changed hairstyles, complete with a color change- right to our very own faces! Oh My MY! I turned into the Lunchlady, D was Mrs Doubtfire and Karen- well, she would have been right at home on the corner of Hollywoood and Vine ( if you get my drift!)
Try it for yourselves! It's much better with a little Fun- In A- Glass and a few open-minded girlfriends (since I can't be with you all in person).Great for a rainy day! And who knows, maybe you won't look like The Church Lady or a Drag Queen-but will actually find the perfect 'look' for the holidays!

Say tuned for the next blogs- As soon as my ribs heal from laughing so hard....

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

All Y'all can be a SPQ!

Sweet Potato Queen darlin'! And I am one! So is Lil Mama. I think Meg might aspire to be one, and Trainwreck too! What, you are asking yourself, is SPQ and WHY in the name of all that's Western would I want to be one?

Well, because it's fun!
The Queen of all Queens, the O-riginal Sweet Potato Queen is Jill Conner Browne. Now you will have to pick up a book and read it to know the secret of the SPQ, why the name, and what is with the hair and clothes- but it is worth it! Jill, bless her little heart, has a whole line of good readin' starting with God Save The Sweet Potato Queens. Reading these books is just a hoot! I mean that literally, if you aren't laughing within a few minutes of picking these up and cracking the spine, well Hunny- you must be seriously depressed.
Jill talks about things us'n all know, food (Pig Candy- to die for!) ,men (all kinds ,from a crud spud to a stud spud), women friends, babies( tater tots), and drinking( Kick Ass Marquerita mix is a recipe in the book). ( Now some of you don't drink, and that is ok- you don't have to drink to be a SPQ!) Not a mention of any thing Horsey- but sometimes I do like to stray!
So during one of these rainy spells, when you need a serious pick-me-up, dive into this or any of her books! Then drop me a line and we'll dish!
God Bless the Sweet Potato Queens!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

It never rains in California....

It surely did rain today though! Buckets and buckets of the wet stuff pouring down from a steel grey sky. And you know what happens when it rains in California? People go beserk! I mean it! They weave from lane to lane, and ride their brakes without actually slowing down on the slippery oily roads! They stop in the middle of the road and look up through half rolled-down windshields, like turkeys waiting to drown in a teaspoon of water. It's enough to make a girl want to pull out her shootin iron and plug their cars! I said ALMOST_ I wouldn't really do it...Besides most of the time they wreck their cars and do more damage to themselves than I could ever do! So let it rain! Let it Pour! I'll stay indoors and bake cookies!