Wednesday, February 17, 2010

About that...

I know I said that blogging didn't count here as writing. And Yes, I know that ANY writing is writing, good or bad, grocery list or magnificent insight into the human condition. (Actually blogging is a little bit of both. )
The reason I said it didn't count here, is because- though it is written ( or typed) it is actually more like a conversation. A conversation usually with and about and to- myself ( go figgure!) And a conversation with you all. So the communication form isn't verbal and oral- it is written- so I don't count it as writing.
Writing, in the sense that I mean it here, is to create a story. A beginning a middle and an end. To connect cosmic dots in a way that other will 'get it' the same way I do.
I am struggling to tell a story- many stories actually- to enlighten, to entertain- to make someone stop and go- "OHHH!" And to entertain myself. I want to write a story that I want to read.
And though my story is nearly done- sometimes when I read the middle (those awful middles!) I go- " Eh- So what? Who will want to go on reading from here?"

I know how to 'do it'. I know how to fix it. I just can't seem to muster the creative energy right now to attempt it!
Could it be the weather? Menopause? Over work? Apathy? Maybe all of it.
Have I felt this before?
Ask my friends in my writing groups ( or former groups ). I guess I do this every year about this time, so maybe it is seasonal. Whatever it is, it feels permanent this time. And it frightens me that I may not get it back, or even want to.
So like any good woman, (cough.. ahemm..**) I try to talk it out, by blogging to you all. To rev my creative blood, to hear your feedback, your encouragement and your stellar ideas.
I am hoping it comes back.