Sunday, April 7, 2013

When you least expect it- expect it!

As I said in my post the other day, I have owned Remy for a little over a year. I love him like crazy! His nature is sweet and curious and I am really looking forward to having him in my life for a long time.

But ...I still have pictures of Desi on my wall and dresser, and sometimes I slip and call Remy DESI by mistake. Of course it isn't like calling your current husband by your previous husbands name, but it feels like that sometimes. Like you are cheating somehow.

 I took solace knowing that Desi had a good home and he was being used as a trail horse, not a show horse. I guess we all do what we need to do just to sleep at night. Somehow I've always felt I let Desi down somehow. I didn't give him enough training. I gave him too many kindnesses.I cared too deeply. I was too unhealthy, too afraid, too busy, too sad.... So many things to feel sorry for.

Then, as I am looking forward to the show this month I get an e-mail ( and not a very nice one) asking if I want to buy Desi back.

She called him ' that horse' in the body of the email. Said that I had sold him cheap because I misrepresented him. That he savaged her other horse while she left them alone in pasture. And that she may not be able to show her horse anytime soon because of all the bite and kick marks and that there was no reason for the attack of her other horse.

Well- let me tell you that really spoiled my day my week and my month!
I didn't reply right away. I held on to that shocked feeling and it turned sad, and now it's sort of angry.

I did not misrepresent Desi. I told them exactly what he was- a nice well bred, well broke gelding that I had won various awards with but was not going to be a good show horse any longer. I told her that he had never been in a pasture situation- ever. I kept him as one will keep a show horse. In a large paddock by himself so he doesn't get kicked or bitten thus rendering him unfit for showing. I told her I wanted a good home for him that would treat him well and use him often.

They purchased him as a trail mount, which is what they have been using him for and according to her, they have done very well.

This woman told me she was a horse trainer and could fix ANY issue that would come up with Desi.
Silly me. I believed her. 

But who knows how he has been treated! Who knows what kind of toxic weed might have been growing in their pasture? In any case, it makes me very very sad for Desi. Sad that she obviously didn't know horses as well as she said she did. Sad that his good home turned out to be not so good. Angry that after a year she is blaming this on ME! Angry that she will now dump him on someone else, without the benefit of love in her choices.

I have to stop myself here, because I have bought and sold literally hundreds of horses in my lifetime. And I never felt sorry or guilty about any of them. They were just livestock and I was used to the 'trade'. For me, Desi is somehow different.

Unfortunately I am in no financial position to keep two horses. If I had a full time job, I would buy him back. But I don't and there it ends.

Guilty much?

Ever had an ex that you were just crazy about? That you felt was everything you ever wanted or needed? And through fate or time or whatever, you grew to find that maybe you weren't so perfect for each other after all? But you tried! You really tried but you ended up ending the relationship?

Yeah, it's kind of like that.

I hope she can find Desi a better home than I did.


Story said...

Wow. I will agree with your assessment that this woman isn't nearly the expert she claimed to be! I mean who doesn't know that when you put two horses together you're going to get scuffles? I had Dee out with a couple other mares last year and they all had their share of war wounds the first month or so.

I'm so sorry to hear about this crappy experience. It sounds like you told her everything there was to know about Desi. No guilty feelings required.

Shirley said...

Oh the pitfalls of selling horses! I wish I could buy back the ones who didn't go to the homes I thought they would....
Maybe you can find someone in your circle of friends who would like to buy Desi.

Maia said...

Ahh, you have every right to be mad, that woman totally misrepresented herself, her abilities and her situation. Let's hope Desi goes to a much better home where he will be loved and apreciated. It's easy for me, sitting here, to say don't feel guilty, but please don't.

Mikey said...

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I know exactly how it feels, and I do hope he finds a good home.
I have to say, she should have known not to leave two horses new to each other out in turnout together unsupervised. It could have been worse.

Maia said...

OK, how is your horse show coming along. Enquiring minds are curious, girlfriend.

Maia said...

Is that inquiring or enguiring? You can tell I can't spell cat and spend way too much time in the grocery store line. :)

C-ingspots said...

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. Seems like horse people can be some of the best and worst in human beings. We've all had similar experiences it seems, and that's the worst part about selling or rehoming horses...we lost control of their destiny when we let them go. I hate that she doesn't love him as you do, and you're right, if she doesn't love him, she won't sell him to a loving home. Wish I could take him, all I want is a reliable trail horse who is trustworthy and safe. Seems like all my horses have some issue which is preventing me from riding. I'm so sorry.

Piter Smith said...

Beautiful post!
I like horses so much!
It's my favorite animals