Tuesday, August 18, 2009

When in doubt-stick them out!

PLEASE DO NOT ADJUST YOUR MONITOR! THE PICTURES YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE ARE BLURRY! JUST TRY KEEPING ONE EYE ON A TODDLER AND ONE ON THE VIEWFINDER AT A MAJOR HORSE SHOW. I'M LUCKY TO HAVE ANY PHOTOS AT ALL!
NOW BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED BLOG...



A very wise old judge and horse trainer once told me- "Hunny- when in doubt, stick 'em out!" He meant the boobies, of course. Now at the time, I just didn't even fathom what he could have meant by that. My boobies were as flat as could be! Why would I want to stick them out?

And now , years later, I kinda think that old axiom was 'on course'. You see, a LOT of women at QH shows have fake boobies! Even young girls! And I think that is because judges are mostly men, and men like boobies.


Here are a few reasons why you might want to have fake ones to stick out-


1.Your horse is 'tro-pping'...stick 'em out! ( a cross between a trot and a lope, only not as pretty as either and VERY common).

FAKE




2. Your horse has missed a lead- Stick 'em out!
NOT FAKE
3. Your horse has tic-ed a pole in the trail class- Stick 'em out!
NOT FAKE
4. Your horse has the UGLIEST legs ever seen in a Halter class- Stick 'em out!



FAKE




5. Your horse is kicking as other horses pass on the rail- Stick 'em out!
6. Your horse is perfect- but you like the way you look with boobies the size of watermelons- Stick 'em out!

NOT FAKE
I hope I haven't offend any of you that DO have fake boobies.
I'm just jelouse!
Here is a picture of Lil Mama and Bar Hoppin Bob in the class that they took eighth in. She shows in HUS and the horses that usually win are generally very scopy and leggy. Most of them are actually more Thoroughbred than Quarter these days. But sometimes you get an Old Fashioned type judge and they will place a good QH in the QH classes! So she keeps on trying.
I think he looks pretty good.
Of course I'm the MOM and what do I know?
I know to STICK "EM OUT!

10 comments:

The Wife said...

LOL! Not offended at all! ;o)

BrownEyed Cowgirls said...

Hahaha-That is too funny!

I've noticed quite a few of the younger girls sticking both ends out. It looks awful and must make their back hurt something fierce.

Congrats to lil momma and bob!!

Lil Mama said...

Ugh! I think it may have done me good to stick em out. Next time I'll try to remember.

Molly said...

No offense taken. Very funny.
I like to bind mine tight so they don't interfere either physically or mentally. The fatter I get the more they interfere.

Funny that the judges are looking for Thoroughbred type Quarter Horses.

Chasing cans and dreams said...

Love it! And yes I can admit I am just jealous I dont have them to stick out.

Chasing cans and dreams said...

Too funny. I can admit I am just a little jealous I dont have any to stick out...

Mrs Mom said...

LOLOLOL Then you get ones like mine that just grew there-- and KEPT growing-- and you don't HAVE to stick them out! ;)

This post was hilarious!

Congrats to Momma and Bob too! He is a nice looking fellow.

Breathe said...

I find just bandaids work fine to keep mine in place.

Sigh. I miss "the girls" I had when I was nursing. First time it wasn't a straight shot to the belly button.

Stephanie said...

LOL you are cracking me up! Yes I have noticed that - I have also noticed that alot of girl will add "enhancements" to their bras while getting dressed for a class. Not for me though - go figure.

mrscravitz said...

HAHA! This is just to funny! Love the post.